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What happens when the facade of a seemingly perfect family crumbles? This is the question Shari Franke, the eldest daughter of the infamous Ruby Franke, seeks to answer in her eye-opening memoir, “The House of My Mother.” In this raw retelling, Shari pulls back the curtain on a life marked by manipulation, emotional abuse, and the insidious influence of a controversial figure who entered their lives.
Shari's revelations provide a chilling glimpse into the dynamics of her upbringing, a topic that has captivated many due to Ruby Franke's public persona as a family vlogger on the YouTube channel "8 Passengers." Ruby's arrest for child abuse in August 2023 shocked their followers, but Shari's memoir reveals that the abuse began long before the scandals made headlines.
In her memoir, Shari shares harrowing memories of the abuse she and her siblings endured at the hands of their mother, whom she describes as having malignant narcissistic traits. The abuse included extreme disciplinary measures, such as forcing her to sleep on hard floors and locking her brothers in a concrete bunker for punishment. These actions were often justified by Ruby through extremist religious beliefs, which only added to the psychological turmoil of Shari and her siblings.
One of the most disturbing aspects of Shari's story is the role Jodi Hildebrandt played in their family's decline. Initially coming into their lives as a therapist for her brother Chad, Jodi's influence would become pervasive. Shari describes how Jodi intentionally drove a wedge between her and her father, framing it as a therapeutic intervention, ultimately leaving the family fractured. Jodi's counseling methods were extreme and manipulative, pushing Shari to the brink of alienating her closest friends in exchange for her mother’s approval.
Another poignant revelation in Shari's memoir is how her mother’s emotional abuse conditioned her for further trauma. This emotional manipulation left Shari vulnerable, leading to a sexual assault by an older church member during her first days at Brigham Young University. The betrayal she felt from both her mother and the church community is palpable, as Shari connects the dots between her mother’s teachings and the abuse she faced outside of her home.
Moreover, Shari explores Jodi and Ruby's increasingly close relationship, painting a picture of a disturbing bond that blurred ethical boundaries. This relationship evolved from a seemingly innocent friendship into something that deeply affected the family dynamic, culminating in shocking behaviors that Shari describes as both secretive and inappropriate, even as they publicly condemned similar behaviors.
Through it all, Shari provides a unique lens on the intersection of family vlogging and LDS values. She argues that their YouTube success only amplified Ruby's narcissism, suggesting that the need for public approval overshadowed the fundamental needs of the family. Shari emphasizes that the quest for fame and validation led to detrimental choices, bringing about their eventual downfall.
Shari Franke's memoir serves as a cautionary tale about the unseen realities behind the curated lives some choose to share online. Her courageous revelations shed light on the darkness lurking beneath the surface of a family celebrated for their vlogs. As society becomes more attuned to the potential pitfalls of family vlogging, Shari’s story encourages a much-needed dialogue about the ethical ramifications of sharing personal lives for public consumption.
If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, support is available. Reach out for help and remember, you are not alone.
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